Don’t Be Tricked By Love


Brace yourself.

Soon it will be Valentines Day.

Now for those of you who experience the daily struggle of just getting dressed, this gooey romantic day is possibly the very last thing you need.

You are coping with half term holiday, screaming and fighting children, the house is a mess, the dog stinks and the paper work is piling high.

Who the hell can be bothered with hearts, chocolates and flowers?


I am a true romantic. I love a bit of excessive sentimentality.

But don’t be tricked by love – which is really just a word. The real power is in the actions we take. 

This is what I mean……….

In my world I have problems, stress and hassle. But I have to find the good and the positive to keep me from drowning in tears and misery. I try hard not to wallow in any sort of self-pity and make a conscious effort to feel grateful for what I have.

I also think that before you can be loved, you have to love yourself. And numerous studies have shown that to show gratitude for what you have, and to do acts of kindness things for other people bring about chemical releases in the brain that makes you happier.

Of course this is very simplistic and even if you were to be super grateful and constantly do random acts of kindness, it will not solve your problems. Your child will still have meltdowns and there will still be arguments and rows. As you know, I am super passionate about supporting families to become happier and calmer and have written a training system.

But if you were feeling calmer, happier and more positive then you would be in a better mindset to deal with these problems. I always advise my clients to look after yourself and take 10 minutes a day for yourself. Recharge your batteries.

But today I want to suggest something different.

I want to give you a specific challenge to spend Valentines’ Day doing random acts of kindness.

See how many you can do and let me know if it makes you feel bloody marvellous.

  1. Let someone cut in front of you in traffic
  2. Stop to talk with a neighbour
  3. Leave money on a vending machine for someone
  4. Bake a cake for a neighbour
  5. Pick up litter
  6. Let someone go in front of you in the line
  7. Hand out a flower to random people in the street
  8. Write nice letter and put it on someone’s car
  9. Give a stranger a compliment
  10. Hold open the door for people
  11. Buy a ticket for someone behind you
  12. Clear a neighbour’s path of leaves
  13. Write a letter to a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while
  14. Give up your seat on the bus
  15. Smile at everyone
  16. Appreciate the sunset
  17. If someone is behind you at the supermarket queue with only a few items, let them go in front
  18. Paint a rock with a lovely message and hide it for a stranger to find
  19. Listen to an elderly person reminisce
  20.  Start a piggy bank collection for a good cause
  21. Make handmade cards and post it through all your neighbour’s doors
  22. Put lots of paper hearts  in a box. On each one write something that is special about someone in the family
  23. Compliment everyone in your family
  24. Make a goody bag to give out to people you know
  25. Put a note in your child’s lunch box or your partner’s bag
  26. Make someone breakfast in bed
  27. Make a playlist for a friend
  28. Learn the names of everyone you meet on a regular basis
  29. Offer a tissue to someone crying in public
  30. Talk to someone who you think is looking lonely
  31. Buy a small gift for someone. Just because
  32. Stop to talk to a homeless person
  33. If you see someone look lost, help them out with directions
  34. Talk to everyone
  35. Give someone a hug
  36. Be grateful
  37. Be kind to yourself!

I’ll repeat #37.

Be kind to yourself.

It is sooooooooooooooo important that you look after yourself.  You are totally frazzled and exhausted. So you must take time to be kind to yourself as well as putting all your energies to your special child. It is not a luxury; it is a necessity. Your life is bloody hard. You deserve a bit of ‘you time’

The power of kindness is strong. Be kind to others. Be kind to yourself.


I want to help you.

I’ve created two planners that will help plan your day so that your child will know what’s going on. Vital for the school holidays where the routine has changed which leads to confusion and meltdowns.

If he knows what is happening in the day, he will be know what to expect, be more in control and feel happier. adhd

Click here for your free planners to help your child make sense of his day