Wow. What a weekend we just had.
10 beautiful women signed up to join me on our Relaxation Retreat. We had two days of pure treats, learning, having fun and forging friendships. The power of 10 was incredible.
These women were inspiring, brave, honest and totally focussed on learning the importance of self-care. Read to the end as I have an exciting self-care challenge just for you.
But what about you?
You are so bogged down with thinking about your child’s needs. Sorting out the difficulties with school, chasing appointments, battling with home life, worrying about your child’s future. And, although you are a warrior squadie, you are exhausted.
You really don’t have time for self-care nonsense. Do you………………..?
Self-care is not a luxury.
Self-care is a necessity.
If you don’t look after yourself, you will not be in any position to help your child. You will be frazzled, shattered, grumpy, run-down and miserable.
Science proves that if you nurture yourself, you will feel physically and mentally healthier. So yes, you must make time and put in some effort for self-care.
“Learning self-care is like building your own lifeboat, plank by plank. Once you’ve got your boat, you’ll still be rocked by the waves of life, but you’ll have a feeling of safety and stability that means you can pick up other people on the way”
Taking time out may make you feel guilty.
“How can I be doing something for myself when the house needs cleaning, there is shopping to get, I need to make an important phone call……”
And so on and so on.
But, let me tell you a little secret. There will ALWAYS be a list of things to do.
But if you don’t take time to do things that make you smile, then you will not have the energy or motivation to get anything done at all.
By showing your children that you consider self-care to be important, you are being a fantastic role model. Afterall, you want your child to live a happy, fulfilled life. It starts with you. It starts with them seeing that you can do it – and they’ll copy you. That’s what children do – they watch and they copy.
So let go of the guilt.
Here are my suggestions for practising self-care.
5 WAYS TO PRACTICE SELF-CARE
#1 GIVE YOURSELF 5 minutes a day
The first thing I recommend is that 5 minutes a day you find time for yourself. Nothing extravagant, just 5 minutes of quiet, alone time. This can be in a lunch time, just as your drop your child off from school or after bedtime. You must schedule it in. Don’t expect it to happen randomly.
Maybe practice mindfulness – focus on your breathing, empty your mind. Notice the senses around you – the sights, smells, noises. Let go of any negative feelings.
Or go for a walk and look at the trees, the houses, notice the people, look in the shops. Anything to clear your mind of the daily hassles.
Sit in a park, your car or a coffee shop and just stop.
You may like to write down your thoughts in a lovely notebook, listen to calming music or have an app on your phone that sends you daily positive messages – check out Action For Happiness
#2 TREAT YOURSELF
Nothing expensive, but maybe once a week get a little treat that makes you smile. A new pair of knickers, a frivolous magazine, a gorgeous bubble bath, a candle. Something just for you.
#3 HAVE FUN
Think back to what you liked to do before the children came along. Why can’t you do that again? Go to a gig, go horse riding, volunteer, join a pottery class, write poetry. Find the time to do these things. Why not? You can do it. You must do it. Bring joy back to your life. Get back a sense of who you are.
#4 MAKE TIME FOR YOUR PARTNER + FRIENDS
Rekindle the romance. It is so easy to slip into a cycle of negativity particularly if you are not in agreement with expectations of your child. (I wrote a previous blog about dads and how they also need support). Go on date nights. Put it in the diary. Plan it. Find a babysitter and make it happen. A night away would be even better if you have friends or family that you could call in favours.
Do fun things together that make you laugh. Be silly.
Make dates with your friends. Go to the cinema, go for a walk in the park. Reconnect with people who bring joy to your life. And more importantly, ditch anyone in your life that bring you down. Rid yourself of poison.
#5 RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS
Being kind to others is good for the soul. So every day try and practice an act of pure kindness. Letting someone else go before you in a queue, helping a neighbour, cheer up a friend with a little note, picking up some litter, saying something positive to a stranger. Again – check out Action For Happiness
So. I want to help you make changes. I want to help you bring back joy into your life so that you feel stronger, happier and more fulfilled.
Just as I helped the 10 amazing women on the Relaxation Retreat, I can help you too. For free.
are you up for a challenge?
Next week in our ADHD Warrior Squad Facebook group I am launching a 5 day challenge.
Every day you will commit to practicing self-care. We will support one another and post photos of how we are being kind to ourselves. I can guarantee it will make you feel incredible.