ADHD + MOVING TO SECONDARY SCHOOL

Soli

7 hours ago

A boy and a girl in school uniforms standing in a corridor, with text overlay 'ADHD + Moving to Secondary School'.

I want you to picture this scene in September.

You take a photo of your child by the front door beaming in their new secondary school uniform.

You might share it on Facebook.

You feel so proud.

But this doesn’t tell the real story.

You may have had a summer of anxiety, tears and worries about what the new school experience is going to be like.

Your child may smile for the camera but inside they feel sick with nerves.

What on earth do you do?

I think the hard work starts now.

In June.

Get ready so that come September you child may feel more relaxed and ready for their next adventure.

So first a bit of background as to why your child may find the move to secondary school so hard…

Their ADHD brain is creating a bit of havoc

TRANSITIONS

Change is difficult. Any change. So a massive change like this is just too much for their overwhelmed brain to deal with.

CATASTROPHISING

Our children catastrophise. Their brains develop a story into something major that then feels real and too overpowering. The amygdala goes into fight, flight or freeze mode and they are overwhelmed with the scenario they think will now come true.

NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

No one will like me. I will get lost. I wont know where to put my bag. I wont like the food.

This self talk gets your child into a negative spiral and causes a great deal of stress.

ORGANISATION + TIME-KEEPING

Secondary school requires a high level of organisation and being on time. The dysregulation of their executive functions means that a child with ADHD will find this all too much and too difficult.

UNIFORM

Suddenly there is a requirement to dress like a mini adult. Blazer, shirt, tie and stiff shoes. The sensory overload is ringing alarm bells.

RELATIONSHIPS

This is a biggy.

Children with ADHD are socially and emotionally lagging behind their peers about 3 years. This has huge implications on the peer group and your child begins the school year with dread and worry.

So how can you help?

THESE ARE MY TIPS:

SCHOOL VISIT

All pupils in Y6 will be invited by their new school to visit some time this term. Ahead of that meeting email the new SENCO. Explain the difficulties. Request that a member of staff takes photos of key areas around the school, key adults, the lunch hall, the office, the medical room, the playground. Then email these to you.

UNIFORM + EQUIPMENT

As early as possible buy the uniform and any equipment that is needed. This will give your child plenty of opportunity to try it on and get used to it. Take a photo.

THE ROUTE TO SCHOOL

Do a dummy run of the drive or bus journey. Take photos of key places you pass. Take a photo of your child at the school gates.

SOCIAL MEET UP

Is there a possibility of meeting up with other new pupils. The SENCO may provide a list. Arrange a short visit outside if possible that lasts no more than an hour. Take photos.

MAKE A PAMPHLET OR BOOK

Using all the photos (from the school, uniform, route and meet-up) make a pamphlet or book written in the first person.

Eg “This is me in my uniform. My new teacher will be…etc”

Have the book available for your child to read over the holidays.

YOUR CHILD’S VOICE

Start to prepare a document or letter written by your child (you can type) explaining who they are, what they like, what they don’t like and how adults can help them.

This is an opportunity for your child to use their voice to let the new staff know exactly what is needed.

Email this document to the new SENCO and set up a meeting as soon as possible in September to put in place an effective SEND Plan (this is the law).

This gives your child a feeling that their voice is being heard. No guarantees that things will all be put in place, but this is a start…

ORGANISATION + TIME

Think about where your child is going to work at home best. Sort out a quiet space where there will be fewest distractions.

Go together to B+M or similar and buy stuff to help get them organised. Boxes, in-trays, bags, folders and dividers. Colour code subjects. Buy a label maker and make sure there is a place for everything. Get a school bag with compartments so different things live in different spaces. Use a family calendar so everyone knows who is doing what on which day.

AFTER SCHOOL ACTIVITES

Investigate things your child can do which they really enjoy. Nothing too competitive, graded or team centred. Maybe something exciting and risky. Creating things or inventing something new. Get them started in the summer if possible so this feels continuous when they start the new school.

This is also a great way for your child to meet other little people who are similar to them and have shared interests. Finding their tribe.

IT’S GOOD TO TALK

Finally, use opportunities from now to talk about this new experience. Sideways talking works best, so when you are walking or driving.

Validate all their feelings. It’s okay to not feel okay. Ask them what do you need me to do?

So don’t panic.

It will be okay.

You just need to plan ahead and pre-empt any problems that may occur in September.

Keep in touch and let me know what I can do to help you 🤍

Love,