So this is the challenge and my dilemma.
On the one hand my son who is 28 years old is a total joy, makes me laugh and can be great company.
But on the other hand, he drives me potty.
He doesn’t see anything through.
He has no sense of consequences for his actions.
He is disorganized and is always chasing his tail.
When he was at school I was the parent dreading weekends and holidays. I felt lonely and isolated from the other parents who all seemed to have perfect children.
And now my heart breaks to think of what the future may hold for him.
Of course it’s not all doom and gloom. He has many special talents and he has qualities that I love.
But life, to say the least, is quite a challenge.
So his bedroom looks like a bomb-site (remember he’s 28 not a teenager). So he loses things. Forgets things. Breaks things. Makes inappropriate comments. What can I do…?
Smile.
I do actually find him really amusing. And if I didn’t find the positive, funny side of things he does, I think I would spend my days crying a river.
I can help, advise, organise and attempt to keep him on the right track. I have tried to be a good role model and to be positive and see things from his perspective.
I have bailed him out but also refused to take the blame or be accountable for his mistakes.
I have got angry but also been sympathetic to his crazy choices.
I have ignored his rudeness but also understood his difficulties.
I have been a social worker, banker, cleaner, hotelier, UN peace-maker, chauffeur and just plain old mum.
I think I’ve done okay.
Ho bloody ho!
So as my role as a parent and as an Asst SENCO, I get asked an awful lot of questions about ADHD:
How do you support a child at school?
Should he be on medication?
What behaviour plans do you use?
What clubs could he attend?
So as a fact-finding exercise, I’ve set up a very quick survey and I would really appreciate it if you’d let me know what questions you have about ADHD
Thank you so much 🙂
As a thank you, I will send you a FREE download of a fun reading game ‘Star Wars Attack’
I could have cried reading this post. I so relate. sending you a virtual hug
Thanks Jordan. It is tough. I’d love you to do the survey for me. Thanks x
My son doesn’t have ADHD but does have dyspraxia and maybe autism – we are still awaiting a diagnosis. A lot of this sounds very familiar I think of it as living with Tigger! Alex is adorable but chaotic. Read this and completely understood where you are coming from x
Thanks Alison. I’m sure there are other undiagnosed conditions too. Would you mind doing the survey for me ☺
My son has been loosely diagnosed with ADHD but through my own reading (I have a degree in webMD 😉 ) I have come to the conclusion he may have sensory processing disorder. He hates swings and the sound of hair clippers he screams bloody murder. That’s just a couple of his things he has many, many more.
I have started using a now and next picture board/visual timetable and it’s magical it’s only been a day and he loves following it he really enjoys moving through the tasks following the board. He is almost 4 and just started trying to make conversation with us <3 so much love for him. Am also going to use it with my 2year old boy 🙂 things are looking better after years of struggle <3
Lots of love to all who understand the struggle 🙂
I’m so pleased you’ve found things that work. That’s part of the challenge. If you have a few moments, could you please do my very quick survey. Much appreciated, Soli x
I wonder if this how my mother feels as I, too, have ADHD/Depression. Almost all that you’ve described of your son I have/am experiencing it all as a near 27 year old woman. My bedroom is just as bad, if I lose anything in my room, its gone forever. Smh, lol but… Idk how your blog popped up in my search for ‘Future hotelier’…weird. This makes me sad, because, I don’t know how to fix this crazy condition, its so hard to get a handle on it. But, the desire to do so is SO THERE! Sorry, I kinda poured my heart out a bit…my chemical imbalance is showing. I hope it gets better for you and your son, TRULY! Wow, this really made me a bit emotional, I’m sorry. I’ll just go and bear hug my own ‘Warrior Mum’ now…I guess thank you for a glimpse into Adhd Mother’s heart…Gn.
Thank you for taking time to comment. My son provides a lot of colour to our lives. My advice to you would be to find systems to help you manage. And yes give your warrior mum a massive hug. Like my Facebook page ☺https://www.facebook.com/Yellow-Sun-741876089291217/
‘Warrior Mum’ is too right!! My Mum’s raised three ADHD kids (myself and two brothers) and a fourth with an incredibly rare brain disability which means he’s at a moderate learning difficulties school. I think I’d have a breakdown in her situation!! But I find writing about my ADHD and ADHD, in general, on my blog helps quite a lot https://thepymmcessdiaries.wordpress.com/