Don’t judge a book by its cover

I love people watching.

Particularly on holiday. After a particularly stressful time recently hubby and I booked a last minute get away.

So, this last week I have had plenty of opportunity for one of my favourite pastimes.

I give people names and work out who is married to whom and whether or not it is a second marriage (older dad can’t be bothered to play with the kids).

This is not me – let’s call him Alex, she’s Terri and their children are Alfie and Sophie

I imagine the job they do and decide if they are happy or not. I watch the interactions between family members and see who gets on with whom. I love moody teenagers. Always on the look out for special needs. I watch their habits and suss out their routine. I’m fabulous at subtly listening in and over hearing conversations. Hubby is quite complicit in this activity and so we are kept quite amused.

Awful of me I know. Intrusive, judgemental and rude. But admit it, you do it too.

Of course this is all speculation. I have no idea who these people are. And I’m absolutely positive that I get it wrong.

We do not have a clue what is going on in other people’s worlds. The most improbable couple can be blissfully happy. Whilst the most seemingly perfect family may be living a life full of stresses and unspoken worries.

We all come with a story and we are an outcome of the experiences we’ve had, which make us the people we are.

My own story is filled with a great deal of drama to say the very least. I come across as happy, confident and extremely positive. Looking at me you’d never guess my background. One day I may share it. But not today.

My friend Roger said to me recently that if everyone threw their problems up in the air, then almost certainly you’d want your own to come back down to you. Our problems are never quite as bad as our neighbours.

I’ll have my problems back please

We really shouldn’t judge. Which is rich coming from a self-confessed snoop. But I know for sure that we should never judge a book by its cover. There is always a story beneath the cover.

book_pages_turning

We need to help one another more. We all have friends who are going through rough times. Make an effort to ask them how they are. Listen and give them an opportunity to talk. Often that is all that is needed. A sympathetic ear.

So I can’t promise that I’ll stop people watching and imagining their lives and relationships.

But I can honestly say that I am always mindful that this is not the true picture – that what you see, is not what you get.

Love one another. Be kind to one another