It’s bloody hard being a mum of a child with special needs.

Yes – I see my son as unique, gorgeous, funny, a wild spirit and absolutely great company. But..

There is a but.

We have to go through our daily lives with struggles and battles. No wonder we’re frazzled!

So here is my guide to 7 Things You Should Know About Special Needs Mums:

1.Tired

Juggling doesn’t even come close. Not only do SNM need to worry about her SN child but also the house, siblings, partner, job. No doubt she is also involved in a charity group as SNM tend to be the ones who feel that we needs to ‘give back’. Of course looking after our SN child is exhausting both mentally and physically. We are in constant fight mode – ready to take on the challenges of school, doctors, consultants. We are constantly on edge.

2. Isolated

In a room full of people SNM can feel isolated. Our children don’t fit in so we feel we don’t fit in. How can we join in with conversations about university, weddings, successful jobs when our children are struggling with simple social communication. So we just smile and nod and agree. Always feeling on the periphery of the norm.

3. Grieving

SNM are grieving for the child they should have had. Our hope, dreams and aspirations burst the moment we knew things were just not quite right. Our picture of family life certainly did not look like this…

4. Brave face

To the world, SNM can seem as if we’re coping. On the whole we are. But more often than not we have to wear a mask to hide our frustrations and exhaustion. No one wants to hear our moans when we’re asked ‘how are you?’. So instead we smile and say ‘fine’ when actually things are far from fine.

5. Resentful

A completely understandable emotion to feel. SNM have to put up with Facebook, Instagram, Twitter posts of how wonderful other people’s lives are. We also want to have quality family time without the drama of tears, tantrums and meltdowns. We have to cope with our children being excluded from parties. Teenagers stuck at home instead of being out with friends. We can’t see ourselves happily walking our children down the aisle. So yes, damn right we feel resentful.

6. Expert

SNM are the experts of anything to do with their child’s special need. We are the ones who know our child best. So we are the ones that should be advising school what are the best strategies to support our child. We keep our eyes on current legislation and entitlements and can argue for England on the rights and wrongs of latest scientific analysis.

7. Need a hug

Most importantly, SNM need a hug. A virtual one will do.But a real one is glorious 🙂

So in conclusion…

Please be aware that although we look like we’re coping, life can be extremely hard. Be easy on us. But give us support too….

 

  Yellow Sun Supporting SNM every day 🙂

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